14 December 2005


I am frustrated. Frustrated because I'm so sick of people's vanity when it comes to their RA. I've dealt with this for 20+ years and never once did I concern myself with how my hands or any other joints look. I worry about things like joints not properly working or pain or even that RA can kill me eventually. But, I don't worry about the looks of my hands. Gee, they're deformed? Oh really? Wow I did not know that! As long as I can get them to work with the least amount of pain, wonderful. I'll never hide my hands or even try to draw as little attention as possible to them. I just don't care how others see me. While I don't enjoy RA, I also am not ashamed I have it. It's not like I caused it.

I also fail to understand equating having a life as only being physically active. I am not at all what anyone would call active. But, I still have a very nice life thank you very much. I am useful to my family and friends. I like to think (given the comments of others) that because I can't be physically active, I am valuable in helping others understand the beasts of RA and FMS. I'm not the "fuzzy wuzzy hold your hand and pat your back saying 'it'll all be ok'" type but I educate as best I can. I'd never once dream of telling someone in a wheelchair due to RA that I am trying to avoid being in that wheelchair and not having a life. To me that's insensitive, and that's coming from someone who, well let's just say I've never been accused of being overly sensitive but rather a bit cold.

I just don't get trying to make others feel bad with my insecurities. Maybe that is being insensitive to those who are insecure about looks or to those who are vain.


  1. You can always use this place to vent anything you want, even if its about your hubby!!! I dont think he will care at all!

  2. you don't think he will?